Dear Ernie: Second Thoughts

* Questions for Dear Ernie can be sent to:

Dear Ernie, 

I have this great group of friends and I love how close we are, but I am worried that our group will never be the same. One of my closest friends has been in a serious relationship with their significant other for almost 2 years now, but they started talking about how they are catching feelings for another person in our friend group, and h0w they have been romantically seeing one another now. I am very close friends with both the significant other and the person having second thoughts. Do you think I should tell the significant other or let this all play out on its own?


The Middle Man 

Dear Middle Man,

I can understand why you feel stuck in the middle and don’t want to burn any bridges. However, it is important that you do what you feel is right. If that means that you want to stay out of it completely and let them figure it out, then do that. But if you really want the significant other to know so they don’t continue being unaware of what’s going on, that’s always good too. It all just comes down to your personal preference.

In a recent survey that was conducted, 92% of people said that they would like to know if someone is being unfaithful to them behind their back. It is really important that you know for a fact that this is going on, and you have all of your evidence lined up and in order. You will want to give them all of the information that you know, even if it’s just basic information such as the time, place, the person they are with, and present any evidence that you have.

Most importantly, make sure you are there for that person and continue to support them and guide them through such a difficult time. It is always important to emphasize that you trust them to make the decision that is best for them, but if the roles were reversed, would you want them to tell you? It can be a lot to take in and a lot to handle, so the more people that they have supporting them, the better.

Keep on soaring,


(Note: The advice given is from Candor writers, student-to-student, and does not reflect the opinion of the university).